These are poems mostly written between 1999 and 2000. -
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Nocturnal Awakening -
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Poems are individual works and collaborations between SarahSmiles and Spazzmodius. They are © 1999-2001 Sarahsmiles.com, and cannot be printed or copied without written permission. Pentangle (Five poems, arranged) Solo Arms by my side hang motionless, as the beat of your heart weighs thoughtless feeling, the enemy of your smile. Painless, the spring rhythm of my heart that beat last in anothers breast. Ripped by my voice torturous, and placed bleeding in my soundless mouth, I pass a silent careless crossroad, closer to the hopeless eternity of your song.
Entwined Night My breasts lay heavily on
your breasts, One heart beating for us both. Our tongues, entwined red and liquid, bleed memories. Your body cool, mine warming, vibrate to one song. One sex, shared on sheets of passion and regret, speaks within me. Soul released, soul restless, stilled by a siren kiss of unending night. Forgotten Rain The casual scream that locks my soul from eternity stands alone, behind a distant smile of tortured regret. The blood offered to supplicate my rage drips like tears from my lips, an afterthought of anger. Your body hangs motionless, twisting on the breeze of fancy. My will falls lost among the memories that drip forgotten, like rain from your eyes. top Stolen Fire A chance misfortune falling at your feet brings you to my lost embrace again. An evenings mourning blankets your star, like hopes dashing on a shore of lost remembering. Broken, your sex cries forth from a passionless embrace. A soul shattered senseless writhes in my warming fire, stolen as lips parting company smile in cruel disregard. Hovering Thirst I track you motionless across the winding streets, among tables of lost cafes, along the coast of this vacant city, describing an arc across the heavens of neglected dreams. The fabric of crimes drapes a faded figure as a cloth of shrouded despair, seeking a final ablution to cleanse and absolve a nocturne of unredeemed regret. You flow, spectral, among the living and prey to the lust of your thirst. And I wait hovering at the fringe of your soul, patient for a dark embrace to join us in loves tomb. top Resurrecting the Garden To my garden,
artful world of creation, I go to forget. Artefact of my nocturne; construct of day dreams. Wild creation, where my thirst is slaked on beauty, I remember. top Rock Blood Ochre Valleys of Roussillon paint my body red; night dusted skin with rock blood ochre.
The valleys rusting bauxite earth in my hair, and on my bare feet, paints my body red. Living blood dyes my soul with life: Abandoned bodies alone in random patterns. Forgotten red drips thoughtless from my lips. /ss _I Vampiri_ "The Vampiric Metaphor, " said she, transcendent and sublime, requires an external referent, a story lost in time. A thought that tingles on the tongue, or image that tricks the eye with light." "Keep thinking in this vein," purred I, "as my teeth sink in and I drink tonight." top Edge Smile Chromium alloy hips mark the breadth of my desire. Iron oxide lips leave me breathless and on fire. Screaming cobalt tears burn my soul upon your pyre. Titanium oxide fears edge my longing to expire. ss/spaz. Summers Fall Sighs sweep silent over the midnight city, sentient of the million summers gone. The sea suffers my hollow gaze, softly, as my eyes search the solemn beach slowly for your solitary smile. The blinding memory of your weary blood bleaching my broken lips black. Baleful, my barren soul breaks, beached and battered on the moon-beaten sand. Waves crash white at my weary feet, waking me from my watchful slumber. I walk, idle, and wend my way, watching for your return, and waiting. top Midnight Sun Nice, my midnight sun, orange and brilliant below. The city glows warm my soul, perched a top my hillside home huddled in my nocturnal thirst. The silent city at my feet I watch, and wonder who awaits me. Each building a reflected oasis boiling with life. Each window blazing a silent testament. My body shaking with muted tears of the finite gulf I cannot cross. My shoulders sagging from the isolated tremors of regret. top Untitled. My brain boils and soul gives way as the iron scent of your veins drags me slumbering forth: broken body, cloven with thirst, dragged by claws clogged with flesh towards the pale beauty of your youth. Thunderous bleeding soul, mourning wails of a depleted heart, crashing teeth smiling in hunger, sobbing silent terror hold you close to me. Eyes closing, breath ragged, you speak a silent prayer, and keeping your soul, surrender your life. I sing to the singing of your blood. /ss You fucking bitch, why did you leave me? The anthem of my nightmares, my mantra to my mother, tender words of regret spoken with love and remembrance veiled in tears and washed with loss. You left me with pictures and my name, dimming memories and half invented stories; broken verses in a song, the music forgotten. Stolen from me in broken glass and shattered bones; summer of regrets half forgotten recollections of your smile. A child still wanders with picture in her hand crying, "Why did you leave me?" /ss top An experiment in desire Arms broken in mutual hatred, Sinews snapped with violent passion, Skulls crack Souls ripped in malignant screams, Time's recollections resurrecting Memory's wounds still raw and bloodied. Tired eyes see only red, Hoarse voices shout recriminations, Cracked nails claw damaged flesh, Silent sorrows in silent lives; Wasted weapons of old loves waiting patiently for new battles. My friend, she is the raven. ss - Raven, first from the ark
- on wings of night, sent forth
- to dry the earth,
- and prepare the world.
- Dove, second, third, fourth,
- returned, finally,
- with olive branch.
- Raven never returned
- from the new earth.
- What did she find
- more interesting
- that so engrossed her soul?
- I sit, by a darkened window
- looking out over the city
- night below, beside her.
- I think she went off alone.
- I think she found herself.
- I hope she met her soul.
- She sits beside me now,
- that very same Raven
- who left to still the waters,
- and reclaim the earth from the flood
- and wrath of a vengeful god.
- Beside her I am at the edge
- of all things; her wings beat
- at my blood and calm
- my seething waters.
- Beside her I am beyond
- the human domain we see
- from a distance,
- from my window,
- through her eyes, keen,
- observing, watching
- down below.
Dame Darkness Calls. The Night holds my soul close-cradled and safe, a mentor protecting her lonesome lost waif. She hides teasing me, under rocks and in shadows, Tempting, embracing me on midnight meadows. She teaches secrets of hidden lost things; Of nature, of dreams and darkness she sings - Secrets and mysteries lost to you all Who hide inside houses when dame darkness calls. That is a beautiful metaphor. So beautiful.... Look at it. Listen to it. Let it roll off your tongue and between your breasts, and down to your boots where you can grind it under sole. top My Lizard Soul The somber reptile of day dreams, observed in nocturnes of wandering; light night music of souls that tread tiny steps, silent and running along darkening paths. A black funereal dance, broken diurnal rhythmic circles around my slumber; slow scaled words crumpled paper memories, shifting and reforming as a breeze crosses the floor. A warm singing fire, livened icy fingers and frigid bones; aching frostbite memories scratched by bloodied nails, animates and motivates my lizard soul. Nocturnal Awakening Waking with blood in my belly and a smile on my face and my thoughts in a far off and wonderful place moved my soul off to search in the darkest direction and through long midnight hours of deep introspection surmised that I might be both dead and a story just in order to rationalize a life that's so gory. I live and I love and I move and I try to keep out of the sun and to drink, or I die. Thus I don't know if vampire is real or a metaphor but that's not the answer I think you are looking for. top Decayed Expectations Decayed Expectations Close-couched divinations cast with cruel bones on infectious desires, as the feral chorus gambols for
the soiled, patched robes of a makeshift deity not worth crucifying. Stripped pink and naked, but for sun burnt face and hands, blood seeps from a self-inflicted scrape below your breast, as your homemade crown of barbwire thorns slowly unravels: bride stripped bare, gashed hymen's memory of luscious autumnal blood flowing tears, broken by the lash of unspoken regret. Decayed expectations hover hallowed; lost spirits of vampiral longings crow laments to Dionysian rapes of sidereal fancy. Your eyes, sunken in victim's retreat, scout the lost horizons; a broken survivor of inhuman longing, separated from eternity by suburban mysteries of injected rock star mythologies. I kiss your bloodied tears of the suicide's regret, cup your quivering breast in my ruddy claws with a lover's caress, break your heart with spoken words of censure at your immortal longings for an endless tomorrow. Our lips quiver together, touching casual skin too often shared in panicked musings of another night of repentant justification. Our bodies, naked but for our concealed horrors, laid bare when my mind caresses the stories of your sordid loves. Skin touches skin, eyes touch eyes, windowing souls broken under the weight of a memory of posthumous regard. Your sex, my sex, stalled by the history of passed passion. My tongue speaks new words of silent passion to your ecstasy screams of joy. |